when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
vagina is talking i cant
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
