Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
