The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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