so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I didn't shave. On purpose
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
