this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
