Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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