I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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