someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
birth control should be required to get into college
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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