I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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