gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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