Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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