So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
