You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
