Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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