I CAN MOONWALK!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
