i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
