I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
