well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize