"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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