Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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