Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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