everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
