what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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