You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
In America we eat man semen.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
