Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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