I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
