I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
