I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
