Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize