I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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