I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
They took my balls.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
