I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
