I must be too annoying 4 u.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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