I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
