the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
