Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
