Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize