Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
