he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
