I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
