I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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