; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize