so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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