I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize