I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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