I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
