dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
