Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
