just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize