Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
