There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
