I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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