Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
