yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
