im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
