Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
