i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
