Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
