And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
