The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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