he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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