I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize