Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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