when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
