think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
