You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
