last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
