Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
