People in love make me want to vomit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
