Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
