The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
